Hi friends. I’m back!
It has been a while since I’ve blogged. Honestly, it has been longer than I would have liked but sometimes that is how life goes.
Where have I been? That’s a loaded question. Literally, I have been in the same places I am always in, like Harris Teeter and the gym, along with some new ones. Figuratively, I have been all over the place.
I’ve had quite a few friends and family members text me and ask if I am ok, as they’ve noticed me drop off social media. I’ll get to that explanation shortly. I’ve also had friends ask me why I haven’t been blogging and they have missed my writing.
First off, thank you for caring enough to notice and ask, and caring enough to keep reading. Like I have said from the beginning, you give me life.
Secondly, I haven’t really had a concrete answer, or really any answer for that fact, to give you. At least not one that I have wanted to share or attempt to explain because it’s so much more than a simple explanation.
The honest reason is that I just haven’t felt myself lately. There are so many moving parts in my life currently and I haven’t felt a connection to any topic that has pushed me to want to blog about it. I don’t want to blog just to blog. I want to blog about things that matter to me. But since it has been forever, and I also miss writing, I figured I would jump back in with an explanation of where I have been.
I recently turned 31 and decided that now is the time to make changes in my life that I’ve been wanting to change or that need to change, even if I don’t want them to. I am not getting any younger so I better start now.
One change that I have been wanting to do for as long as I can remember is to rid my life of Facebook, and maybe eventually Instagram. I’ve tried removing myself from Facebook a couple times in the past. I usually made it about a week then caved and fell back into the never-ending hole of scrolling through a bunch of crap I don’t care about, and negative stuff I don’t care to read. I’m going on almost two months of having Facebook off my phone and haven’t missed it at all. I feel much more positive in everyday life along with feeling much freer. Free from the thought that I need to showcase my life daily and update hundreds of people whom I hardly even know any more on what I or my family is doing. Free from the feeling that I need to pretend to care about all the things I see when really, I don’t.
I want to connect more with my friends and family in real life, not from behind a computer screen through photos and short descriptions. Whether that’s meeting for coffee or lunch, spending the afternoon hanging out at a park while our children play, or just chatting on the phone. I feel like social media robs us of the opportunity to really connect with the people we care about most. When you see what they’re doing on a daily basis, with some people posting hourly, what need do you have to pick up the phone and call to ask how they’re doing? I’m ready to change that. Instagram is still on my phone, but I don’t have a strong need to post and have limited the time I spend checking it. Mostly nap time and before bed when I can’t sleep.
On the topic of friends. I’ve finally realized there are certain people I need to break apart from. Sometimes you get stuck in friendships because they’re comfortable. Maybe you have a lot of mutual friends and will likely see each other often. Maybe you’ve been friends for years. Maybe you feel forced to remain friends for one reason or another. But the truth is, none of that matters. Happiness matters. You don’t need to waste your time with a friend who, at the end of the day, isn’t really a friend. If you have a friend that doesn’t make you happy or doesn’t treat you like a friend should then do what you need to do. I did it recently and as it turns out, I’m getting along just fine. I have so many friends that care about me, my husband, my son and my family; friends that make me laugh and make time to call or hang out that I don’t have the time to waste on someone who doesn’t. You will realize this, too.
However, the biggest, most life-changing change is that my husband and I have made the decision to move to Raleigh! I want to be closer to my parents because they are such a huge part of our life (aka our only babysitters. yes, I am that mom who won’t let just anyone watch their child) and thankfully, my husband loves them enough to allow us to make that change. It will also cut my husbands commute to/from work by almost forty minutes. House hunting is stressful, to say the least. House hunting while also having your own home on the market (shameless plug, our house went on the market today; tell all your friends!) and trying to keep it clean and tidy while living with a full-throttle two-year-old and two big dogs is also even more stressful and a huge driver of my current, almost constant anxiety. Here’s hoping we find our dream home sooner rather than later! If not, my parents will have new roommates. Slumber party!
These are the basics. The straightforward of where my life is currently. There have been a lot of ups and downs, just like always. The more personal ones I am sure I will share sometime down the line but for now, I’ll keep those between myself and the ones closest to me.
So here’s to the relaunch of blogging and to it finally being sunny after 473 days of rain in NC.